I want to be loved in the inconvenient moments.
In the moments your heart is hurt but echos for mine.
I am not talking about the moments that the sun
and hope rise in the east,
and the ocean waves toss sea glass at our feet,
I mean in the dark winter mornings
when everything is dead and the birds have no song.
leaving me dancing all alone on it's edges.
In that moment I want you to hum my melody back to me.
I want you to capture star shine on your bare hands
and make a laurel wreath of it for my head,
so that I can see through my own darkness to who I really am.
I want you to know that you will find me
just past the moments where we broke each other's hearts,
out there in that lush dew kissed field.
I want you to be able to let go of the possibility
that I may not be for keeps, come back from that far away land,
to this moment, to climb this ladder, to this future.
I want you to hear the groans of my fearful heart
and love me anyway.
Come out from your hiding place of stories forced on you,
about who you are and lead me from mine.
I want you to feel the inconvenience and friend it,
whisper words to it so it will embrace you
and you can swim the space it has created and find me again.
Jillian Ayer found her writing voice in the pages of a spiral bound notebook during her teen years. She believes passionately that life is a beautifully complicated container where real stories and deep connections are cultivated through mundane everyday moments. When she is not writing she can be found reading, walking the beach before sunrise, enjoying time with her three teenage children, volunteering at the local cat shelter and laughing (perhaps too loudly) at her own jokes.